Tag: Bekah
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My Apocrypha 18: The Professor’s Pizza
It’s time, I think, Bekah thinks it’s time, for me to tell you about the weirdest pizza I ever made. I talk a lot about Pizza Hut, and so many of you have eaten so many different kinds of pizzas. The other day, I ate a cheesesteak pizza. I had a girl call up one…
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My Apocrypha 16: King
I believe it was March 4, 2001, that the city of Springfield celebrated Fat Tuesday. Now if you want to get technical, that is the Saturday before Fat Tuesday, but we are in Missouri, not New Orleans, and the bars figured, fuck it, close enough. Downtown planned a pub crawl, and for about twenty dollars…
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My Apocrypha 10: Guardian’s Nazis
After what Ronin did in front of Cheech, things had to change, and Cheech was going to make sure they did. See, all of the guys in the dorm treated me as if I was a cute pet. They saw me whining about a girl, saw that I couldn’t land a lay, and they just…
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My Apocrypha 9: Ronin’s Victim
Cheech and I went to Lambert’s. It’s a restaurant out near Branson. Your meal is brought to you in a large steel pan. The meal itself is refillable. If you eat your entire pork steak, they will bring you another. Every meal comes with two sides. They walk around with extras, fried okra, fried potatoes.…
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My Apocrypha 7: Artist’s Strippers
So Tony got married in 2000. He pretty much knew she was the one from the first time he saw her. She was lean and gorgeous with the greatest sense of humor I had seen in a woman since Bekah. I am going to call her Claws. I call her this because she made fun…
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My Apocrypha 5: No, You Do Not Wanna Do That
So imagine what it’s like to be my niece or my nephew. First of all, I love them all dearly. They mean the world to me. And usually, as a kid, they’re apathetic to me. You have to be a little sophisticated in order to truly appreciate my level of chaos. The magic number is…
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My Apocrypha 3: Jasmine’s Scarf
This is the story of a broken girl crumbling. This is the story of a single garment. This is a story about Ronin, I guess, and a driveway. This is a story of the Waynesville High School Mafia. The Mafia was started by accident, I guess. A slip of the tongue made by an, at…
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The Sin Eater 29: The Final Hand
The story I just told you is ugly, evil, and repugnant, and I tried not to tell it. I cared about my cousins and I didn’t want them to know what their dad was, because they had such a great relationship and he was such a good dad. Facebook will do that to you. It…
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The Sin Eater 27: Long Live the King
I sometimes wonder what Stone would have done. When we found out that Grasp was molesting children, when Stone found out Grasp was molesting his grandchildren, what would he have done? I do not know. I cannot say, but if he had made that call, things would have been different. In the face of pleasing…
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The Sin Eater 26: Rabbits
“Just let me lay here for a minute. Trashy’s trying to make me scare everybody off. I just need to lay here long enough for her to leave. I don’t want everybody to leave. I want to be right here. On this bed. Next to you,” Artist whispers to Bekah. A floppy drunken hand plops…
Jesse Teller 