Tag: Mumble
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My Apocrypha 26: The White Pipe
And here we are. The White Pipe story. I have been dreading this one. I didn’t really have a plan for this chapter, except that I needed to drop on a sword for a manager that didn’t respect me. I need to stab Mary’s eyes out. Needed to be scared to death by a blood-curdling…
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My Apocrypha 23: Pocket Change
I don’t remember how the idea was posed to me. I was six, and it is in the nature of a Mocking Man to collect things. I started with matchbox cars, but there were far too many of these to get them all. Then I moved to books. I wanted books about magic. And I…
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My Apocrypha 18: The Professor’s Pizza
It’s time, I think, Bekah thinks it’s time, for me to tell you about the weirdest pizza I ever made. I talk a lot about Pizza Hut, and so many of you have eaten so many different kinds of pizzas. The other day, I ate a cheesesteak pizza. I had a girl call up one…
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My Apocrypha 17: The Big Guns
This had happened before. They had called me in for an emergency once before, but that was in Normal, and this was bigger. Much bigger. There was a time when the city of Bloomington-Normal was broken up into two cities bumped up right next to each other. When my parents worked at Rocky Rococo’s in…
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My Apocrypha 16: King
I believe it was March 4, 2001, that the city of Springfield celebrated Fat Tuesday. Now if you want to get technical, that is the Saturday before Fat Tuesday, but we are in Missouri, not New Orleans, and the bars figured, fuck it, close enough. Downtown planned a pub crawl, and for about twenty dollars…
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My Apocrypha 13: Churning Butter in the Hood
Take the students to the farm, they said. It will be fun, they said. Real close to Halloween, 20th Street Elementary School decided their third graders would go to the country. Get those kids out of that polluted city and let them breathe the fresh air of the real Wisconsin. Let those kids see what…
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My Apocrypha 12: Breakfast in Bed
I’m afraid of water. When I was six, Char threw me in the waters of White Creek in Wisconsin. He had been laying Less on his arms at water level, teaching her how to paddle with her arms. He had lowered her and she had spit, and he raised her back up. He talked her…
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My Apocrypha 11: Servant’s Garden
Gonna get through this one as fast as I can. Try to make you understand why Servant is the way he is. Try to show you the most important thing in his young life and how it was taken from him. He doesn’t really want to talk about it. Never has wanted to talk about…
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My Apocrypha 6: The Connected Guy
I didn’t go to my Senior prom. I felt trapped by Mary into going with her and I couldn’t make myself do it. Prom night I spent at Harvard’s house playing Dungeons and Dragons and stick fighting. After the game, we turned off every light in his house and hid. He stayed downstairs with Brett…
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My Apocrypha 4: Urinate and Defecate
It’s hard for me to explain the effect it has on the house when a child has been molested and the authorities have been called. I’m talking about the effect on the house, not the effect on the person who made the call, or the child who’s been hurt. It’s the rest of the house.…
Jesse Teller 