Servant walks into the desert, and he feels tired. He feels weak and empty. He has been fasting for three days and he is exhausted. He did this for all of us. He did this because we asked him to. He did this because it is in his nature to serve.
He walks for what seems like years, never knowing for sure if he should keep going. He begins to doubt if God will talk to him, because other chapters were written before his and they were not supposed to be. He waits, and when he realizes he is being tested beyond his abilities, he sees something rising out of the sand in the distance. He approaches it, and sees it is a statue.
It is an idol of salt in Rose’s image, and he has not seen this face in a while. He looks at his beautiful mother then at her feet. At the foot of the idol is a stack of Bibles, all opened to pages about Jesus with lines highlighted about Christ. And a plaque that says, “Wrath.”
“And this is why you can’t hear the words of my Son without rage.”
“Every time I hear Jesus say something in that book, I feel as though I am being manipulated. She owned me for so long. She just had me dance anytime she wanted to and she used Jesus to do it. When I hear him speak, I get angry. When I hear someone invoke him, when I hear, “Oh praise Jesus,” that person always sounds fake to me. I can’t stand the sound of the name Jesus. I always hear her voice.”
“And how do you feel about my Son? Do you hate Him?”
“No, not at all. I understand what he stood for, and I back it one hundred percent. In this world, at this time, all you have is Jesus to guide you. His teachings, His real teachings, are magical. They are so necessary. And they are so ignored. Those who say they follow Jesus fail to see His ways. It is a mess. But He is my only guide. I love your Son. But I can’t hear Him speak. And I can’t hear His name.”
Servant walks on. He walks until he sees something glint in the sun. He turns to see what it is, a small note card laminated with his name and the date of his baptism on it.
“Harmony. Dixon. Even Unity. Every church I go to sours in my soul. I don’t trust people to tell me about God. Maybe Bekah, but no one else. I feel like I can feel You move within me, and everyone tells me to do other things. Those that are given authority fall to some great sin eventually. I can’t listen to men or women talk about You anymore.”
Servant takes the card and uses it to dig a hole in the sand. Then he places a kiss on the card, places it in the hole, and covers it up.
Servant walks further into the desert until he finds an oasis. Trees and a lake, and he walks in and sits at the lake. He takes handfuls of water to wet his neck and he drinks. He leans back against a tree and Tier stands before him.
Tier wears a robe of many colors, carries a staff, and has shoulder length hair.
“You come to me as Tier?”
“The only one you truly admire. Yes,” God says.
“I admire the others.”
“You respect the others. You admire Tier.”
“He is devout. He is a servant. He lives under direction. I guess I do admire him.”
“For traits that you have.”
“For traits that I used to have,” Servant says. “I used to serve without question. Now I am stingy with my service. I let others do chores. I let others write. I let others cook and clean the body. I do not serve anymore, not like I used to.”
“Why?”
“Because everyone takes advantage except Bekah. Everyone will eventually get used to you taking care of them and they will take you for granted. Soon, if you serve too much, you will begin to see them talk down to you and treat you like you are less than them,” Servant says. “Only Jesus can get away with service and not be looked down on.”
God laughs at that. “Why haven’t you washed Bekah’s feet?”
Servant lowered his head.
“I’m asking because I know you long to. You long to treat her with that respect and show the same devotion to her that you saw in Jesus. So why have you not done it?”
“I cannot lower myself to anyone anymore,” Servant says.
“But that act will heal you from that feeling. You know that, yet you have not done it,” God says. “Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Wash her feet. Lower yourself to her and you will see what she does. You will see what she does in return.”
“What will she do?”
“We will see. I have guesses, but I’m not sure. She will not fail you,” God says. “She will not see you as you think she will. And when you have done that. You can learn what she is trying to teach you.”
“What is she trying to teach me?” “That true love is all about service,” God says. “You never knew that. You only knew obedience. Service can be different than that.” He stands to turn away. “Go ahead and wash her feet.” He laughs and looks over His shoulder to smile. “See what she does.”
This chapter is from Reality of the Unreal Mind, Vol. 3: The Keep.
Jesse Teller 