So Tony got married in 2000. He pretty much knew she was the one from the first time he saw her. She was lean and gorgeous with the greatest sense of humor I had seen in a woman since Bekah. I am going to call her Claws.
I call her this because she made fun of me the first time I saw her. She broke me up, and I still find myself laughing about it 23 years later.
See, it was the very first time I laid eyes on her. Tony met her in Belgium, I think. Her parents were there for a reason I was never clear on and he was stationed there with the Air Force. He had trimmed down and bulked up, and he found out that when the weight he had worn his entire life had been walked, run, and lifted off his body, he was pretty hot. He had won his six pack. He had won his broad shoulders. He had won his powerful legs, and he had found the girl.
They dated quick and he asked her to marry him about a half a year in, if memory serves. He came home a lot and he always had her. But the first time I saw her was in Pizza Hut.
I was done working, and was sitting in the back booth, when he walked in with his goddess and dropped into a seat across from me. She looked at me with an unbreakable smile and said, “You’re important.”
I slapped my comp book closed and looked across at her. “So are you,” I said. I looked over at Tony and smiled. “Who is she?”
Everyone laughed.
“This is my girlfriend,” Tony said. He beamed with pride and I grinned back. See, this was a girl of a much higher caliber than he had ever had before and he knew it. I was so proud of him for all the work he had done and for the charm he had used to bring her into his life, and I got started.
I started telling stories. Telling stories about him. I left out all the shit ones, the times he was creepy and underhanded. I kept telling all the best things I could about him and left out the dark stuff. I was in the middle of a story.
I had my hands apart, fingers curled, was fighting to remember the name of a place. “It was, it was at…” I flexed my hands and looked back up at her. “We were in—”
She looked down at my hands and blurted out, “Grasping Claws, Kentucky?”
Broke the entire story, the entire table. Made me laugh until I farted, and I instantly loved them together. As time went by he still made her smile and he still built her up. To her face. But things were getting a bit dicey as time went on. He started talking about other girls. Not that he had fucked, just that he had flirted with. I reminded him over and over again about what he had, and he kept agreeing. He loved Claws and they were strong, but this other girl had a… name it. A feature that he just craved.
See, Tony was attractive for the first time in his life and he wanted to spread out, but he knew he had gold so he couldn’t.
He started competing with me on stuff I didn’t care about. We were at a club having a few drinks, Me, Claws, Tony, and Bekah, and me and Bekah walked back from the floor after dancing to a slow dance. He laughed at me and shook his head.
“You call that dancing? When you dance with a woman, it’s supposed to look like you are holding her up like a flower for the world to see.”
Shadow wanted to tell him to shut his fucking mouth, who did he think he was talking to, but just smiled.
They went out on the floor during a fast song and they boogied for a while, then Tony dropped to a crouch and held his arms out in her direction. He nodded and looked up at her. She held her hands above her head and she looked…
They both looked like they were trying really hard.
He came back to the table. “See, that’s how you dance with a woman.” This is when Tony started competing with me constantly, and it was also the time in my life when I needed that the least. Guardian’s War was raging. I barely cared about life, let alone how he danced with his girlfriend.
He never compared his girl to Bekah. He knew if he did he would not escape me, but he would whisper to her about Bekah at times, and I would let it go. If he would let me ignore it, I would. And he did, so it was fine.
He saw my car and was unhappy. Jackie, my ’74 Nova, was a badass piece of machinery with the right amount of quirks to give her character, and she loved to run. A few of the guys I hung out with that knew cars clocked her at about 250 horsepower. She had a straight-six engine and she just loved to run. She was fast when I wanted her to be, and her inadequate brakes showed how reluctant she was to slow down.
He visited once, saw Jackie, and the next time he came to town he bought an Oldsmobile. It was big and badass, a muscle car for sure, and he told me it had a 450 in it. I had no idea what that meant and I was happy for him. It was white but had thin stripes stacked on top of one another that rode the back tire wells and the bottom of the door. The stripes were lime green, pink, yellow, and sky blue. The car itself was white.
Jackie’s beige wasn’t trying to impress anyone, but it still looked pretty awesome sitting next to his beast. He told me he had paid 5,000 dollars for his and asked me how much mine cost.
“Paid 800 for her,” I said.
“Well, I guess you get what you pay for.”
I laughed. I didn’t care. He was insulting my dream car. But it was my dream car. Why would I be jealous of his? Mine had no spot of rust on her. His had panels that the rust had chewed to flakes. But I didn’t care. I wasn’t trying to win any awards for who had the best car.
He told me about the paint he was going to give it and the work he was going to have done on it. Then he looked at Claws, and he looked at Bekah, and he said, “Let’s go to Waffle House!”
He and Claws rushed to their car and off they went. Me and Bekah dropped into Jackie and I pulled out after him.
“You know he is disrespecting your girl, right?” Bekah said.
“Yeah, well that is not Jackie. I don’t want his car and I don’t care what he says about mine.”
“He keeps making fat jokes in front of you, about you.”
“I’m not fat.”
“No, you are skin and bones, but it’s still shitty.”
She was right. The jokes about the things I was eating and him tapping my stomach, it was all starting to get to me. As I pulled Jackie onto the highway, Bekah shook her head.
“How much do you weigh?” she asked.
“160, or thereabouts.”
“Now, Jackie?” she said.
Well I stepped on it. I knew how to get her going and I knew what my girl was capable of.
We passed Tony on the big hill on the highway between Waynesville and St. Robert, where Waffle House waited, and then Jackie picked up speed. I was humming at about 95 when I got off the highway. A short jaunt and I was in the parking lot.
“We walk,” I said.
“Awesome.”
“No, I beat him. But I don’t want to look like I was trying.”
“I get it. He calls you fat again I’m going to say something,” she said. I don’t remember what she said. He never talked that way around her again.
But I am not here to brag about either of the powerful women I had with me that night. I am not even wanting to be here right now. We are really here to talk about the bachelor party I went to the night before they married, and the beautiful women I spent that evening with.
First, we hit a nightclub. It was called the Rockin’ R Saloon, and it was the bar I had grown up next to. My old house was in spitting range. Honestly, I was pretty excited to finally go in. Since I was thirteen I wanted to see the inside of that building, and it was not disappointing. I was not blown away, but it was not disappointing. I think I have spoken a little bit about the uncle Tony’s bride had, and the jump start he gave us that night, but let’s talk about it anyway.
After the rehearsal dinner, he asked where we were going for the party. Tony rolled his eyes when I told her uncle, and when the man walked away, Tony looked at me and shook his head.
“Why did you tell him?”
“He asked.”
“I don’t want him there. This is my last night. I don’t want a fucking chaperone.”
“It will be fine.”
But the way Tony looked at the other groomsman told me that I was not getting the full story on the night I was about to have. I kissed Bekah goodbye and she told me to have fun.
This is Guardian’s War era, and we are existing in a living hell. “Look,” she said, stuffing a small piece of paper in my pocket. “I’ll be at my grandparents’ house. I’m sleeping on the couch. If you need me to pick you up, or you just want to talk for a while, give me a call. That’s their number.”
I kissed her and jumped into a van. Now I’m at Rockin R.
Claws’ uncle showed up after we were there for about ten minutes. Tony had about six guys with him, and the uncle pulled us up to the bar.
“Thought I would help the night get started, if you guys don’t mind.”
“No sir, you can stay as long as you like,” Tony said without meaning any of it.
“Well then, let’s have a drink.” The man called the bartender over. “Sir, can you line us up six shots of tequila?”
Six up, six down.
“I think we need another six if you don’t mind.”
Six up, six down.
“I don’t think that is going to do it, is it fellas?” he said. We were all laughing now and he nodded to the bartender. “Six more, if you don’t mind, sir.”
Six up, six down.
Six up, six down.
Six up, six down.
Six up, six down.
“Well that ought to get things going pretty good, don’t you guys think?” He turned to the seventh guy, the guy driving the van, and he smiled. “Take care of them, will you?”
“You got it.”
The uncle nodded, shook all of our hands, and disappeared.
We stayed. I danced in the middle of the club. My head was the crashing cymbals. My feet were the pounding bass. My hands were the screaming lyrics. And I danced. Women danced up to me and I danced with them. They leaned over to yell in my ear over the immense music. They offered things I would never do. They asked me questions I answered in ways they did not like. And as they danced with me, I felt their bodies against me, their hands in my hair, and their mouths on my neck.
I didn’t care. Pain was all that I knew those days, so I just let myself be approached, and when my indifference was noticed, they would float away.
I turned at one point to see that all of them were sitting at the same table looking at me, while another made her way to me. I was game. They were hunting, and before the last of the savages made it to me, Tony grabbed me.
“You’re having all the fun at my bachelor party, you ass. Come on, we are going.”
Three guys went home when they found out where we were headed to next. The driver dropped the three of us at Tony’s next chosen destination and drove them home, making me promise I would not let anyone go anywhere outside of that building.
Honestly I was too drunk to see where we were at first. I missed the sign and barely remembered handing over my ID, but when I walked in and I saw the mirrors, the tables, the dim haze of cigarette smoke on the dimly lit room, and the poles, I knew where we were.
Tony had us all at Big Louie’s strip club. My eyes scanned the stages and I walked to the Bouncer.
“You gotta payphone?”
“Yeah.” He jerked his thumb to the back corner and I stumbled there.
The phone rang once before she picked it up. “Honey, you okay?” Bekah asked on the other end of the line.
“I’m at a strip club. I should have expected this from Tony, but I missed it.”
“Baby, are you okay?” she asked. “Do you need to talk?”
“I’m okay, very drunk but okay. But I’m at a strip club.”
“You said that.”
“Do you want me to walk home?”
“No,” she said with a giggle. “I know where you are sleeping tonight. Have fun. It’s no big deal, I promise. They are going to love you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t worry about it. Do you have money?” she said.
“I have a twenty.”
“The bar will change that out for ones. Be generous. Try not to get attacked.”
“Huh?”
“Go. If you need me, call me again. I stuffed your pockets with quarters. You can call me as much as you want. Go have fun. Go easy on them.”
I had no idea what she was talking about. I know now. I get it now. But I was way too drunk to have any idea what was going to happen that night.
Tony found his favorite girl right away. She came to him as he sat on his chair, legs spread, and she put her knee on the center front of his chair, right between his legs. She leaned over and whispered in his ear.
He laughed and nodded. She took his hand and they disappeared behind a curtain.
I gave the other guy with a confused look.
“Lap dance,” he said. The music was not loud here. It was loud enough but not blaring. I nodded and looked up at the girl in front of me dancing.
I knew her from high school and she winked at me. I stepped up close to the stage, held up a one dollar bill. She stepped forward and took it out of my hand with her teeth. I grinned at her, then walked to the other side of the room.
I sat on a long bench that wrapped one of the walls and dropped my head on the table. The room instantly started spinning, so I lifted it up. That was when my bladder started a protest. I realized I had few options. I get up now and head for the bathroom. I did not want to move. Or, I slowly piss myself. I got up unsteady and looked around. I saw the sign and headed toward it with my head down.
I bumped right into a guy. I stepped back, put my hands out, apologized profusely, and went to move around him. My drunk ass bumped into the same guy again. I stepped back and waited for him to get by me, but he just stood watching me. I stepped around him and bumped into this guy again.
Out came Shadow, hard and loud.
“What the fuck is your problem?”
This guy I knew. Knew him from a long time back. I realized, as I looked at myself in the mirror-covered wall, that I was a lot drunker than I thought. I turned around, headed to the actual bathroom instead of its reflection.
So that was where I was at mentally.
I sat and watched the room. I realized this place was big, with quite a few stages, but only two were being used. The crowd that would be expected on a Friday night was not here. The place was slow and filled with gorgeous, flirtatious women, working to get the interest of the few men sitting and moving through the smoke and the gloom and the dancing lights.
The girl from high school dropped into a chair in front of me. She was wearing a bra with beads hanging from it and some kind of skirt, I think. I’m not sure.
“Jesse Teller,” she said. “Where are you?”
“Here, I guess.”
“No, where have you been? Everyone is looking for you. You just disappeared,” she said. She was very pretty, but not the girl I ever expected to see working in a strip club.
“I’m in Springfield now. I’m in college.”
“Of course you are.” She laughed. “Of course you are. I should have known that. It is just that a lot of us remember you living in town after you graduated, for at least a year, so we were convinced you just split town.”
“Who is we?”
“A lot of people. Look, you have a girlfriend?”
“Bekah Lynch,” I said and burped.
“Are you kidding me? Bekah Lynch.” She laughed and shook her head. “You are with her? I could have had you all this time, and you got her.”
I looked at her confused.
She stood and showed me her ass. “If you are with Bekah Lynch, then you sure as hell were looking at me in high school.”
This dancer had a nice ass.
“How did I not know you were an ass man?” She shook her head. “Should have taken my shot when I had it. Now I’m with a guy that is pretty good to me, and you are with a girl with an ass.” She shrugged. “Just my luck. Hey, fifty dollars and I will take you behind that curtain and give you a little taste of what could have been.”
“Sorry, I’m not going to do that tonight. I’m here with a friend. His wedding is tomorrow.”
“Yeah, that girl has her claws in him right now. He is out of my reach.”
“Can you sit for a while?”
“Two songs, then I have to be back on stage. There is no one here to offer a dance to, except you, so I will try to wiggle a few more dollars out of you if I can.”
“I can’t afford a lap dance.”
“Yeah, but I can get you to the stage when I dance. I’m your kind of girl.”
And we talked. Everything was fine. Her name was called, and I sat and watched her dance. I gave her a few dollars. She dropped to the floor between my legs and slid her ass against me. I really didn’t think Bekah would care, and she gave this kind of treatment to every guy who tossed her a buck, so I just went with it.
She danced two dances, then we went back to the table.
Tony’s girl had her fingers wrapped gently around his wrist and was slowly leading him back to where his friends sat. They pulled money out of their pockets, handed them to her, and she led Tony away. He nodded to them and disappeared behind the curtain again.
“How is Bekah these days?”
“Warm, glowing, sparking,” Artist said.
She blinked. “Huh?”
“Bekah is fulfilling, bright, and a butterfly’s wing.”
“Wait, what did you say before?”
I opened my mouth to speak when another beautiful girl walked up. “Place is dead, I’m going home. Got Family Values from Blockbuster.”
“Sit down,” the first girl said.
“Gotta get home and try to salvage a disappointing night,” the new girl said.
Her wrist was grabbed and she was pulled to a chair.
“What did you say just a minute ago?” the first girl said.
“Bekah lays out naked on the inside of my spine, waiting for me to bend my back and sit up straight, so she can stroke my heart and feel the swell of my lungs.”
“What the fuck?” The girl slapped her purse on the table and looked at me. “Is he sweet talking you?” she said. “Is he one of those?”
“No, hush, he is talking about his girlfriend. Jesse, this is my friend Starling. Starling, this is Jesse Teller.”
“Hello Jesse,” she said offering a delicate hand across the table. I took her hand and kissed her fingertips. “What the fuck?”
“Yeah, this is what we had to deal with in high school. He was two grades higher than me and this is just what he does.”
Starling looked across the table at me and I smiled at her.
“It is my great pleasure to meet you, Starling. You are sleek and intoxicating.”
“He does this shit all the time?” Starling said.
“He’s a writer. He is drunk and he is brilliant. We all wanted to stab his girlfriend at the time to get to him.”
“Ladies, I am out. Be careful and do your thing. I’m being sent home,” another girl said.
Starling looked at her and shook her head. “You want to meet a friend of ours. Sit. Jesse, this is Mystic.”
“I can’t meet another slobbering drunk tonight,” Mystic said.
“Not slobbering, and you want to be right here,” Sequins said.
“Sequins is up and ready to break all your hearts!” the DJ said.
“I gotta go. Jesse, come with me.” She grabbed my wrist lightly and tugged. “Come watch me.”
I went where taken. I dropped down in a seat and she crawled on stage. She worked the crowd, but always seemed to be looking at me. Out of respect, I gave her a few dollars, and she knew how to take them. When she had done her two songs, she led me back to the table and sat me back down.
There were two other girls there.
“This is Jesse Teller.”
“Holyshit it is, isn’t it?” one of the new girls said. “No way to get to him in high school. He was around after for a while, and I was looking for an in, but then he just disappeared,” she said. She wore clothing that worked her body as well as she did, and I could tell she was still on the clock.
“Eyes,” I said. “To be taken in by so many eyes of so many beautiful women is to be caressed, undressed, stroked, and murmured to. I stand blushing in the power of your gaze.”
“Hey, where did you read that? That is a beautiful quote.”
“He made that up just now,” Sequins said.
“Yeah, he is known for this shit,” the new girl said. I looked at her, gently taking in her chin and her hair. Her arm and her face, and I smiled.
“I remember you,” I said. “You floated, when you walked, and you swam the minds of the boys at school.”
“Shit, thank you.”
“He’s good.”
“Hey, you got a girlfriend, cutie?” she said.
“What name do you drape across yourself like a gossamer promise when you work?” I said.
“He is trying to get laid.” She crossed her arms and leaned back, dropping a hard look at me.
“He has a girlfriend and he is not that kind of guy,” Sequins said. “Trust me, he is not working you. This is just how he is.”
“What’s your girlfriend’s name, baby?”
“Whispers of hope and need,” I said to her.
“Her name is Bekah Lynch. And she is an ass girl,” Sequins said.
I just then noticed that the girl who asked the question was well endowed in the chest.
“Every woman is beautiful,” Artist said.
“Every woman?”
“There was one day when every woman was the more gorgeous woman in the world. For one day of her life, everything was right. Hair was just how she wanted it, eyes simmered just as they never had before. Her walk, her smile. Every woman in the world was the most gorgeous woman in the world for at least one day of her life.”
Everyone’s eyes stared and all grew deathly quiet.
“When I see a girl, I see her on that day.”
“He is a player.”
“He is a poet.” This was not Sequins, but the other girl that knew me from high school. “He is known for this shit. Just shut up and listen.”
We talked. They asked me questions, and every now and then Sequins would take me to the stage and dance for me. I saw her figure and it made me think of Bekah. Made me think of her laugh and her hair. I smiled and Sequins winked.
Back at the table and I am talking again.
“I’m gonna take him back for a dance,” a girl named Caress said.
“He doesn’t have the money. He only has a few more dollars, and I am working him tonight,” Sequins said. “Back off.”
“Look, I’m not trying to take him from you, and I will pay for the dance. I just want to touch him,” Caress said.
“Why are you doing this on the night of my bachelor party, Jesse?” Tony snapped. He was suddenly there, his personality clashing with everything I was experiencing. The girl who had been working him all night hung off his shoulder, and she looked at me.
“Hey, how about you give your buddy here a dance? I need fifty dollars and I can take him back and get to know him a little better,” the girl said.
I looked at her and smiled. She had red hair long to her waist with a red dress.
“Your dress whispers to the world around you how much it loves your body,” Artist said.
She stared stunned. “He for real?”
“No,” Tony said. “Jesse, fuck you. Do you have money for a dance for me or not?”
“I’m sorry, Tony, I don’t.”
He shook his head. “Some best man you are.” He turned to the girl dripping from his body. “Come on, I can get more money. There is an ATM outside. I’ll be right back.” She stroked his neck.
“Hurry.”
“Don’t talk to him. Wait for me over there,” Tony said.
Her face went hard for one second, then she walked away, looking over her shoulder.
“Why do you love your girlfriend, Jesse?” a girl asked. She had no name at that moment. She was a girl, she was every girl.
“I love Bekah because one day God decided to give me a pulse.”
“Goddamn,” Starling said.
“I’m taking him home,” Caress said.
“The hell you are. This guy belongs with Bekah Lynch. You are not going to soil that while he is drunk,” Sequins said.
She was called to the stage again and I went when her. I let her work a few more dollars out of me, because Bekah had told me to be generous, and I knew if I came home with any money left, Bekah would be pissed.
“Jesse, do you want to call your girlfriend and she can meet us at my house?” Caress asked.
“I won’t share her,” I said.
They all shook their heads and smiled. More girls clocked off and they joined me at my table.
“He used to date Draconic.”
“Fuck, I remember her. Yeah, that sounds about right. She is the kind of girl that could take this with her.”
“Draconic and I were Lava and Ice interchangeably. Sometimes she scorched my earth. Other times, she let me trembling and begging for warmth. She is gone now. Bekah is all there is.”
One of them looked at me before scanning the table. She smiled and said, “Jesse, which of us is the sexiest?”
“Well, I have never seen an earlobe like yours,” I said.
They looked at each other as I turned my eye to Caress’s wrist. “And justice demands that a man kiss your wrist.”
“Fuck, he is going around the table.”
For more about the series Reality of the Unreal Mind, visit Amazon.
Jesse Teller 
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