Jesse Teller

Tag: Shadow

  • Aftermath Guardian’s War 4: Abuser

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    jesseteller
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    One night we found a new alter, a thing not born of abuse but of learning. He was not damaged, but twisted and wrong. He was not helpful or in need. He wanted things to fall apart. He called himself Char. We called him Abuser. Every Tuesday we got drunk. We would drink all sorts…

  • Aftermath Guardian’s War 3: Conductor

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    jesseteller
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    In the summer of 2001, the game changed forever. A bridge was created that changed it all. I will preface this by saying that it is amazing what the human mind can do, and by saying that this is all true. Some of the experts who know this disorder will dispute this as impossible, but…

  • Aftermath Guardian’s War 1: The Fellow Warrior

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    jesseteller
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    Let’s do it again, shall we? There’s final pieces moving into place. We have to look at the aftermath of me losing everything in Guardian’s War. How I rebuilt myself, rebuilt a life, and hacked a path through the heart of darkness. This blog blast will be 19 posts long. It’ll take us from six…

  • Aftermath New Girl 16 / Guardian’s War 1: Denver

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    jesseteller
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    That Christmas we went to her parents’ house in Virginia. Her mother greeted me at the door and pulled me into a tight embrace. Said it was good to see me. Beckoned me to come inside, where I found Bliss, who ran to me and gave me a great big hug. She said how she…

  • Aftermath New Girl 10: The Nightmare

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    jesseteller
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    Sapphire and I started to rot almost instantly. All the things we had together before Angel had festered, and it became clear to both of us that we were staying together because of familiarity. Just wait. I’m going to give you an example. Just give me a minute. This one thing first. She worked second…

  • Aftermath New Girl 9: Legends

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    jesseteller
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    Angel and I didn’t survive Christmas Break. She didn’t kick me out when we broke up, but I was no longer being watched. I was much of the time trapped at her house. When Bekah showed up to pick me up one day, I was… well, I was at home. I can’t tell you what…

  • Aftermath New Girl 8: Second Christmas

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    jesseteller
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    The second Christmas after Bekah entered my life is nothing but a huge confusing blur of gifts, pain, love, and more confusion. I remember four Christmas celebrations. I don’t remember what order they came in. I don’t remember everything about them. All I can say is that it all started with a missing 250 dollars.…

  • Aftermath New Girl 7: Angel

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    jesseteller
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    I was walking back from dropping off Sapphire and I kicked it on the street. I was not looking for this. It was looking for me. That was when I knew something had to change. Sapphire and I had gotten into a fight. I don’t remember about what, and she had stormed off. Had marched…

  • Aftermath New Girl 6: Coward

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    jesseteller
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    Here, let me try to describe what it was like to live in Kentwood the year after that summer. Let’s start by saying, this was not my first choice of dorms. I wanted Wells again. Well, I was supposed to want Wells again. It is where Sapphire and I had gotten together, and we put…

  • Aftermath New Girl 5: The Weekend

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    jesseteller
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    One day, while having sex with Sapphire, I called out Bekah’s name. We both ignored it. We acted like it never happened and we finished. We laughed and played, then I excused myself to go into the bathroom, and in that shitty little bathroom in Burg and mine’s shitty little apartment, I wept. I cried…