In the summer of 2001, the game changed forever. A bridge was created that changed it all. I will preface this by saying that it is amazing what the human mind can do, and by saying that this is all true. Some of the experts who know this disorder will dispute this as impossible, but if they are here to learn then I will tell them, and I will tell you the one event that gave us more hope than any other. I will describe for you the creation of Conductor.
Things with Anton were exploding. He had stopped coming home for a while because he hated me so much, and finally one day, he did drive back into the driveway. Me and Job were on the front porch swing. And when Anton walked up to us, he pointed at me and pointed at the house.
“This is a meeting of those that pay rent at this house, so get your ass off the porch and let me and Job talk,” he spat.
“No one pays rent at this house, Anton. Job pays a mortgage, but you have not paid a dime of rent in…” I looked at Job, who looked at me and shook his head. “Well, ever I do think. That means that you owe Job…” then out of the bottom swooped a force. It came up like it had in my mother’s kitchen one day, and our passion died on the air as the mind within us went to work.
“Five hundred and fifty-six dollars a month, divided by two, brings us to two hundred seventy-eight, plus the car. Let us not forget that you have never paid for the car Job bought you. That was nine months ago. That car payment is two hundred fifteen, times nine, brings us to 1,935, and with four months’ rent on top of that we have another 1,103, to bring us to 3,038 dollars, and likely some change as well.” It was instantly gone and I stood back blinking as Shadow stepped forward.
“Yeah, so if you want to be a paying member of this house, cough that amount up and I’ll go into the kitchen and let you two have fun,” Shadow said. He had no idea what the number had been. He had no idea what the thing had been that had done the math. That was all math he was incapable of. He stepped forward and Anton looked at Job.
“Tell this piece of shit to leave us alone so we can talk about—” Anton began, but Shadow was faster.
“Me. So you can talk about me. Isn’t that right, Anton?” Shadow said.
“Yeah, fucker! We are going to talk about you and how far we are going to kick you out of this house!”
“Job is done carrying your ass,” Shadow said to Anton. “You’re a shitty friend. You bust him down all the time and I will not let it go on.”
Anton looked at Job.
“You two work it out,” Job said.
Guardian surged forward and Anton turned to us.
“You son of a bitch, you turned him against me,” Anton said.
Now the fight was raging, but within us, a strange thing was taking form. It was being crafted right before our eyes, being built of different mixtures of different alters. It was taking charge of the situation, and it pulled Guardian back and shoved Assassin forward.
Assassin had been pulled from deep in the back of all of it, but he stepped forward. The entity who had done the math touched him and he knew everything. He instantly knew where we were in the conversation. He knew what had been said and what to do about it. His left hand dropped to his side but did not twitch toward his knife. He just looked Anton in the eye.
Assassin dropped the cold eye of a killer on Anton, who stomped away shaking his head.
“You’re a liar, Jesse!” he yelled. “We all know it. Everyone talks about it.”
Assassin was pulled back and Shadow shoved forward. See, he had come. This little bit of an argument had created the alter we would all learn to call Conductor. Conductor could summon us up and shove us forward. He could give us a job and we would do it. He had a certain amount of authority we had not bowed to before. He had the situation in hand and was watching it all like a player playing a game.
“I might be a liar,” Shadow said. “Why don’t you tell me what I lied about and I’ll see if you are right.”
“You lie about everything!”
“Then you should have no trouble summoning up an example.”
“The stick fight!” Anton yelled. “You lied about the stick fight.”
“So many in my past. Tell me, which one did I lie about?”
“When you told us about the one time you fought Harvard, you said he was huge. A massive, angry Viking. But Job is dating Chanel now, and she told us he was only 6 foot 1. That is hardly huge, Jesse.”
“Maybe we should call him up, give him a fucking club, and send him after your punk ass, Anton. Then you can tell me how big he is.”
Anton glared at me and Shadow leaned in close. “He is fucking massive, Anton. Huge beyond belief.”
Anton walked away and Guardian looked at Job. “Do you want us to take this inside?” Guardian said.
Job nodded. “Maybe outside is not the place for this.” He walked in and the screen banged behind him.
“Get inside,” Guardian said.
“Don’t you tell me what to do, Jesse,” Anton said.
“Well friend, if you want to talk to me any further then we will have to retire to the living room.” Guardian got as far as the door and looked back at Anton. “I hope you come so we can work this out.”
Guardian was ripped away and out came Shadow.
“If not, get the fuck off the porch, go back to your stolen car, and never come back.” He slammed the screen behind him and walked in. Anton stomped in behind him, and Shadow walked to the far side of the living room. He glared at Anton before grinning.
Anton looked at him. “You think this shit is funny, bitch?” Anton stormed across the room and Assassin was shoved forward.
Assassin turned his back on Anton, reached down to stroke his knife pocket, and waited. He knew Anton would not hit him with his back turned, and if he grabbed him to turn him around, Assassin knew how to grip that wrist, twist it, and make it worthless.
Anton steamed. He nearly screamed, and he stomped away.
Assassin was pulled back by Conductor, and out came Guardian.
“What do we need to do to live in peace, friend?” Guardian asked.
Anton turned and pointed across the room at Guardian. “Don’t say friend. You and I are not friends.”
“Good to know,” Guardian said. “I will proceed with this conversation as enemies.” Guardian nodded and squared his shoulders.
“Tell this piece of shit to get the fuck out of our house, Job,” Anton said.
“His,” Shadow said.
“What did you just say?” Anton raged.
Shadow grinned and, very slowly, and with as much swagger as he could muster, walked casually across the living room. He tucked his hands behind his back and stopped a breath away from Anton. “His house. Not yours. Job’s. He pays the mortgage. He pays the utilities. You pay nothing and your name is not on any lease.” Shadow looked at Anton’s feet, then back up to his face. “That means you are standing in Job’s house, my friend.”
Conductor pulled Shadow away and shoved Assassin out. Nothing like this had ever been done before. We had never known exactly down to the body language what was happening when we came out. We had a vague notion, but it was never anything like this. This was a gathering of brothers. This was a team breaking Anton into pieces. This was true domination.
Assassin turned his back on Anton and walked slowly away. Anton walked up behind us, and Assassin dropped his hand to his pocket and gripped his knife. He played in his mind exactly where Anton would grip him based on Anton’s size and dominant hand, and he knew based on Anton’s height where the strike would come from. The only thing he did not know was if Anton would hit him while his back was turned.
But Conductor had that covered. He brought Pain forward. And Assassin knew that if Anton did swing at him and hit him, it would not hurt. Then Assassin would get to work. But for now, he simply walked away.
When he turned around, Anton was standing right in front of him.
Conductor pulled back Assassin and shoved out Shadow.
“Never saw gay in you, Anton, but if you want a kiss, pucker up,” Shadow said. He grinned and stepped forward, moving his face in to kiss Anton.
Anton pulled back instantly with a look of disgust and Shadow laughed.
“Job, it is him or me,” Anton said. “Tell him to get out or I’m gone from your life forever.”
Anton did get kicked out that day. He came back to the house a few days later to move all his stuff out. I was out with Sunshine when he came, and gone before he returned. I moved into that room and Job provided me with a safe place to put it all together again.
I had a new alter now, a man who could take charge and make our decisions. A man who could move us into place seamlessly. Conductor would be in charge in some way until 2011 when all of this was put together and my new life began.
Keep reading and I will show you how that happened. But walk away now if you are going to doubt me. I am not trying to convince people. I’m trying to show the world what happened in my mind and the steps that were taken and the events that occurred to make me who I am today. I don’t have time for people who think they are experts. I live this disorder every day.
This chapter is from Reality of the Unreal Mind, Vol. 2: Normal Street.